Danny's a monster

i had a dream that scared me profoundly in the moment but now just sounds silly. there were stairs and corners and the sense of wanting to hide. I have an old friend from HS Danny Ginger and he became the embodiment of this monster that was killing people. IN real life he's a great person and I like him a lot. So it's funny he was the killer. Danny is also gay which maybe seems like part of the meaning. not that im terrified of gay people. because, well, im not at all. quite the opposite actually. i tend to be drawn to people who are either androgynous, publicly gay, secretly gay, or just questionable/ probably bi. it wasnt out in the open while we were in HS but i always had this suspicion about it then. when he came out and said he was gay i was sort of relieved and not surprised. but im trying to figure out why it was him that was the monster, of all people! he's the nicest person ever. furthest from any kind of monster. but there must be some reason my mind was placing him that way.
He was so deceptive and snake-like. He'd say to people, "walk down that hall; there's something so cool to see down there." then they'd go because the general mood of the room was so excited and no one was suspicious of any malicious intent. That one person would run and he'd run down and after them and then murder them out of sight. no one ever noticed because they were so distracted by the fun. i think it was that ignorance that scared me so much. how he was so good at tricking so many of them. i saw and i knew and i was adamant he wouldn't be able to fool me.
so it became like this conquest then, because he became wise to the fact that i knew what he was doing. i soon was the ultimate goal. he MUST kill me. so i decided to leave the building and i took the first door next to me. it led down instead of up and the stairwell was so dark. i saw him come in after me, almost like floating supnaturally. then i suddenly realized that this stairwell was just a dead end and there was no way out or away from him. he had me cornered. i thought, "at least im not stupid and fooled back here, smiling like an idiot as im about to be killed" but then i woke before he got to me. it was so dark and eerie in there. it left me chilled and completely terrified. i have no idea why it was Danny.
maybe if it had been no one in particular it would have been just too awful and i wouldve woke up crying. i cant really explain more than that why it was so terrifying. it was more like the mood and the atmosphere. the color and lighting and id have to give you endless description and detail. i had a dream about this about a year ago. it was the one about the giant hills, elephants and people-eating things. that one was fucking scary as hell. though when i read through it it just sounds so silly.
it was somewhat like War of the Worlds as far as how they looked and the dusty-dark atmosphere.
Anyway, since the same theme is popping up in Jan of last and this year. im starting to wonder what it means. it definitely is significant to me.
maybe it's the cold and the feeling of death in cold.
Bill died in January back in 03. his body was completely frozen when they found him. Myron just died this year, Jan 2.
seems like Jan is the most gloomy month of the year for me. I get winter blues so bad though. an environment and atmosphere affect me quite a lot though. i cant ignore my surroundings, they really do have a lot to do with my overall mood at any given moment.
:::

i also dreamed about making a sign to go on the fridge at work. i think it was one of those silly lingering thoughts. well because people have been bad lately about getting that door allt he way shut and maybe the seal is getting old and not sticking. but it seems like every other time i go in there the thing is hanging 6 inches open. waste of energy, getting too warm in there and spoiling food. i thought seriously about making a sign so then i dreamed about actually doing it. it's dreams like that that make me forget sometimes what ive done in reality and what i just dreamed about. making that sign felt so real. if i didnt have a good grasp on the dividing line of dreams and reality i would swear i had made one. anyway, there wasnt much siginificance to that as far as my life problems or emotions. it was just one of those stupid little 2 minute dreams.