this is in backwards order-
i was at a place that seemingly was a giant pool bu looked more like a lake. it was supposed to be fun but i was actualyl very sad and felt quite alone. i spent a lto fo time trying to make ppl understand me.
there was a mostly red signon one hil that sad HOT HOT JOBS HERE like a mini billboard. Krystal camped out near it sort of like "working"
I told her getting close to the sign was no the way t get the job and she seemed pissed at me for saying that.
kind look like a golf course in that area. i saw where the trees parted and it seemed more "natural" like we really were in the woods. off to my right and i briefly wished Gabe was there because i felt like he would understand my need more a more natural swim like a lake. no one there was my friend, everyone seemed to hate my views, my desire to be natural.
i had this amazing ability to swim underwater for long periods of timewithout having to hold my breath long. i could carry a bubbe in front of my face and breath that air. Ifelt good to swim under the water, like a fish, like i was a creature of the underwater. no one else could go here. i swam to the other side like that and saw a dark figure like someone was sitting onthe bottom. it was a girl, i had my eyes opened and everything was clear as a bell. like i had goggles on but i didnt.
she sat with her eyes closed/ brown hair.
i wrapped my arms around her and pulled up. i though she was drowning but when we got to the surface she started scareaming at me for nvading her provacy. she didnt want to be saved. she was really angry that i pulled her up. so left her alone. I said something alone these lines:
"All I was trying to do was help. Next time when you really are drowning I'll leave you alone then, because that's what you've asked me to do"
She suddenly looked like she felt bad, like this hadn't occured to her. I secretly thought Id save her anyway but didnt say it.
I left.
I went to shore and this is where I ran into Krystal and the hot jobs sign that was completely red painted. She was annoyed at my reason. She wanted to feel like she was "doing" something. Like waiting there for that job was the best and smartest thing. I tried implying it made her like a slave and she was missing out on the water, the "natural" water and that she was stuck up on this hill in a more amusement park looking land, waiting and waiting for something that will never come. She was angry with me for telling her that. I kept saying if you want the jb standing next to the sign wont get it. this is silly. no one is watching you here. but she wouldnt understand
when i returned to the water'd edge i saw it was more cliff like over on this side and the water was deep right away there, instead of gradually going deep as you went out.
I jumped in and got out a few times. every time I'd plunge down really deep and take a moment to drift back up.
On one last jump i kicked my legs down right away wanting to come back up sooner. to my surprise, it launched me back out of the water with super force. like a mega-jump launching into air. i flew higher than when i had first jumped in...with the momentum of a giant rubber band, flinging me up. I felt like i was being thrown into the sky. i felt a little afraid but thrilled too, wondering the power of a jump like that. i didnt even kick down as hard as i could.
before the this water (lake-like) section...i was in anther place of lots of water but this one was much more pool-like than the other. I was alone again and my mom was there.
Sarah H. game cards...board games in the water. she was looking for me. laughing about something in the past.
She was the only person that was truly making me feel comfortable. everyone else seemed to hate me in a secretive way
ic ant remember the rest very well.
before that was no water but outdoors in a foresty place with large hills. there was a long path that spanned over three large hill downward...meant to be sledded down at high speed. the long hill.
the path had a TV at each edge planted...it makes no sense physically now. but it did work.
i started messing with the TV andonce i touched it it lost its stability and i couldnt place it on the ledge as it was before so it wouldnt fall. then someone told me it was never one the ledge, bt on a platform out form the hill's edge a bit and facing the other way, so you'd see it as you come down. this made more logical sense but i could swear it was on the ledge and facing out, really. i could SWEAR i saw it that way...but i was made to feel wrong... like it was a delusion. i coulndt put the TV back.
this whole time a little boy was trying to go down this hill. i was trying to make sure he wouldnt be hrt since the hill was kind of dangerous.
he never actually got hurt but there was always this feeling of the danger of getting hurt.
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